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During my pregnancy, I found myself struggling with all sorts of pregnancy emotions.
I know it was because of my pregnancy, but that didn’t make it any less unsettling.
The feeling I felt most toward the end of my pregnancy was impatience.
But from time to time, I got sad and tearful and just couldn’t stop crying.
I also worried so much about the future that I just kind of shut down and didn’t feel anything. I think this is why my mother in law kept telling me I wasn’t excited enough.
Anyway, if this sounds like you, then congrats! You’ve got a friend in me. I know what it’s like.
I wondered a lot during that time if the way I was feeling was normal.
Now that I’ve had my son, I think some of those pregnancy emotions became postpartum emotions. I questioned a lot in the early days whether I had postpartum depression.
But I have been working things out in my own time and these are the things that have really helped.
Dealing with impatience and anger during pregnancy
I knew the second the medical tech told me they wouldn’t be doing yet another test I was expecting, that I would start crying.
There was no rational thought. Just, why are they doing this to me again??
I sat alone in the office waiting for my doctor to come in and after 20 minutes of waiting I decided to leave and never come back.
I was pissed.
I ended up switching practices because, let’s face it, I was tired of the bullshit.
I ranted about it (and other things) to people who have been in my shoes.
My sisters were both lovely and supportive while I complained about all that was pissing me off these days.
I ended up laughing it all off and felt much better and relaxed by the end of it.
I said all the mean things I wanted to say – in my head.
I try very hard not to take my feelings out on other people because I’ve been on the receiving end of those comments working in the hospital.
So, saying it in my head gave me a safe place to really feel what I was feeling.
By the time I got to my car I was just shaking my head and rolling my eyes. I was over it (sort of).
Dealing with anxiety during pregnancy
In the beginning of my pregnancy, I worried about so much that I came across as unexcited. Being a NICU nurse kind of does that to you, I guess.
Sometimes, I am just overwhelmed with worry.
Especially now that I have a child to take care of – I worry a lot about something happening to me or my husband.
I might be sitting at the table eating breakfast and a stray thought hits me, such as, what if I go somewhere today and die in a car accident?
When the tears come, I just let them flow.
I just let myself think about all those bad things.
It’s kind of like Beth and Randall on This Is Us, letting out all the terrible possibilities in life that they are thinking of.
I cry until I am done. I take a breath, and then I get up and go about my day.
Sometimes that means diving into information about life insurance and advanced directives.
That’s okay, but I don’t like to be paralyzed with worry.
I started writing things down.
I think it helps me focus and organize these thoughts so that they are not so overwhelming.
Typically I just write in a plain journal, but occasionally I pick up one of these different types of journals.
These are two different extremes, but they can really get you in the mood to let go of what is bothering you, or to appreciate all that you have.
That ridiculous receptionist at the OB office? The rude cashier at the grocery store commenting on how big you are? F*ck ’em!
Or if you’re feeling the opposite way, like you just want to give praise to the people around you, this one can really get the gratitude (and possibly tears) flowing.
Either way, journaling can be a positive way for you to experience your feelings, both during and after pregnancy.
Dealing with sadness during pregnancy
One night while I was pregnant, I went to bed with a headache. I had been feeling so-so all day, and I think the headache just got the best of me.
I got into bed that night and just started crying. I had no idea why, but it felt good to do it. So again, I just let it come.
When my husband came to bed and asked what was wrong I felt pathetic.
I just started laughing at myself.
I was laughing and crying at the same time.
“I’m pregnant!” I barked out. He joined me in the laughter and just let me cry.
When I was done, I felt exhausted.
I let my husband baby me.
I told him I thought I just needed a hug, so we spooned and I fell asleep.
The next morning I actually felt much better.
I think sometimes what we all need is to stop being so strong and just let someone else be there for us.
How have pregnancy hormones affected you? What pregnancy emotions are you dealing with? How do you cope?